Sorry….

I want to apologise for the behaviour of my classmates and (sometimes) me…

Sorry to the young male French teacher whose perfectly formed little behind led a bunch of 11 year old girls to blow sweets down the tube of a Bic biro like a pea shooter until he dropped the board rubber.

Sorry to the same teacher for sliding the bolt on the outside of room 11 and then sneaking in the back of the classroom so we were all ‘locked in.’

Sorry again to the same teacher for pretending we couldn’t hear you in the language lab. It was your first job after qualifying and we were horrible to you.

Sorry to the Home Economics teacher who on hearing the sound of smashing Pyrex asked me if that was a school plate, and to whom I replied, “No….it was a school bowl.”

Sorry to the male Maths teacher who had to walk into the room to find a feminine hygiene product stuck to the blackboard.

Sorry to York City buses for continuously pressing the bell with our hockey sticks on the way back from the games field until we were banned from said public transport.

Sorry to the Art teacher who put us all in detention following the bus incident and had to sort out a classmate who had deliberately initiated a nosebleed as a distraction.

Sorry to the Art teacher who thought she’d lost my Boy George magazine that she’d confiscated after one of my friends pinched it back off her desk.

Sorry to the Music teacher for deliberately bringing local cats into the classroom so we could have an excuse to leave the lesson and take them home again.

Sorry I and my bunch of friends were hopeless at needlework and bent the needle double on one of the sewing machines.

Most of all I’m sorry that the school closed at the end of my second year, and that I didn’t get to complete my secondary education there.

Catherine Meaden